Are Your College Relationship Goals Realistic?


Plenty of people enter college hoping the new environment will bring opportunities for more than casual dating. Some college students remain committed to their high school sweethearts, while others may hope to meet “the one” during their freshman year.

There’s such a spectrum of experiences you can have…but what’s the truth? Let’s get real and talk about what you should expect.

Highschool Relationships Struggle in College

Falling in love in high school is exciting, but what happens when the couple heads to college? Whether they’re going to the same campus or diving headfirst into a long-distance relationship, this transition can add new dynamics.

For couples who want to make it work, NBC News says regular communication is the key. At the same time, breaking up is okay sometimes, especially if both parties are beginning to feel distant or interested in dating other people.

Opposing Goals May Create Friction

Falling in love can leave you feeling confused. Each partner in a relationship will bring their own goals to the equation, and sometimes those goals might clash. It’s not realistic to expect these differences to work themselves out.

Significant compromise from one or both parties is often a red flag. Making some adjustments isn’t abnormal, but putting hopes and dreams on the back burner for a new romance isn’t wise. Couples who can’t stop butting heads over future plans might need to have a straightforward talk about whether the relationship has long-term potential.

Unconditional Acceptance Is Key

Do you like your partner for exactly who they are? Too often, people remain in a relationship with the expectation that flaws or quirks can be worked out over time. But Psychology Today warns that you can’t change another person.

Unconditional acceptance needs to be at the core of the relationship. Just as important is that you aren’t annoyed by any aspects of your partner’s personality or habits. Even a small annoyance might be a clue that the relationship is a poor fit.

The Relationship Is Fun and Free

If dating in college feels restrictive or seems to be limiting your experience, it could be time to reevaluate. Many people go into college with the hope of spreading their wings but might have trouble voicing that to their partner. It’s a good idea to check in with one another from time to time.

The goal that both partners stay committed through college might not be realistic. Are both people having fun? Is the relationship a source of joy, or does it feel mostly like work?

The most realistic goal for a college relationship is planning to learn as much as you can. This is a time to explore changing dynamics and new experiences, and this includes lessons learned from dating, new partnerships and old commitments. Take what you can from it all, and don’t forget to enjoy yourself along the way.

~Here’s to Your Success!

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